I'm currently watching a sermon by Mark Driscoll about selfishness, and I've come to realize how selfish I actually am. Like most single guys, life tends to revolve around me. I spend my time how I want, I spend money how I want, I sleep in as late as I want. Holy crap! I'm a selfish jerk! But I will change. Or rather, I have faith that God will conform me to the likeness of His Son. As long as I abide in Him, He will change me until I become more like Jesus. Thank God for that.
Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” This is a tricky verse. Originally, I held the opinion that if I just worshiped hard enough and kept from sinning too much, God would give me anything I wanted. I was distraught to learn that's not the case. When I was left empty handed, I would cry out to God saying, “Why can't I have this, why wouldn't you give this to me, when I have done so much for you? Haven't I been a good, moral person?” But was I really delighting in the Lord? Heck no.
This verse is 100% true, but people (especially myself) are not 100% wise. The truth underlying this verse is that when you truly delight yourself in the Lord, His desires become your desires. You no long desire things for yourself, but rather things that would further proclaim God's glory to all people. So when I wouldn't get what I wanted, it only displayed that I wasn't actually delighting in Him.
I say all this to make a point: I want God to challenge me and change me so that I can fully serve others, especially my future wife. It's often said that it takes 10 years for couples to become selfless in marriage. Perhaps if I can get started now, I can cut down on that time. I don't want to enter marriage a selfish fool, even if it is inevitable. So how can I begin learning to serve my wife, even though I have no idea who she may be?
I can start by loving her now. I will learn how to serve others, and from there I can learn how to love and honor my wife. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” That's the husband I want to be: a husband like Jesus. Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. He even gave His very life so that He could be with the church for eternity. Wow.
I want to learn to be a good boyfriend, and eventually husband, before I start pursuing a girl. That way, when marriage comes I can serve my wife with everything I have. I want to love my wife. I want to encourage her everyday, especially when life is rough. I want to give her shoulder, back, and foot rubs after long days, no matter how tired I am. I want to spend more time with her than I do thinking about myself. I want to wash the dishes so she can go to bed early. I want to take care of her when she's sick, tired, or sad. I want to tell her I love her deeply, not letting one minute go by without her knowing how much I care about her.
But I know I have a long way to go. I trust in Christ to bring me to that place, because I know that I love because He first loved me.
