Single Life... Normal Life

I'm currently watching a sermon by Mark Driscoll about selfishness, and I've come to realize how selfish I actually am. Like most single guys, life tends to revolve around me. I spend my time how I want, I spend money how I want, I sleep in as late as I want. Holy crap! I'm a selfish jerk! But I will change. Or rather, I have faith that God will conform me to the likeness of His Son. As long as I abide in Him, He will change me until I become more like Jesus. Thank God for that.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” This is a tricky verse. Originally, I held the opinion that if I just worshiped hard enough and kept from sinning too much, God would give me anything I wanted. I was distraught to learn that's not the case. When I was left empty handed, I would cry out to God saying, “Why can't I have this, why wouldn't you give this to me, when I have done so much for you? Haven't I been a good, moral person?” But was I really delighting in the Lord? Heck no.

This verse is 100% true, but people (especially myself) are not 100% wise. The truth underlying this verse is that when you truly delight yourself in the Lord, His desires become your desires. You no long desire things for yourself, but rather things that would further proclaim God's glory to all people. So when I wouldn't get what I wanted, it only displayed that I wasn't actually delighting in Him.

I say all this to make a point: I want God to challenge me and change me so that I can fully serve others, especially my future wife. It's often said that it takes 10 years for couples to become selfless in marriage. Perhaps if I can get started now, I can cut down on that time. I don't want to enter marriage a selfish fool, even if it is inevitable. So how can I begin learning to serve my wife, even though I have no idea who she may be?

I can start by loving her now. I will learn how to serve others, and from there I can learn how to love and honor my wife. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” That's the husband I want to be: a husband like Jesus. Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. He even gave His very life so that He could be with the church for eternity. Wow.

I want to learn to be a good boyfriend, and eventually husband, before I start pursuing a girl. That way, when marriage comes I can serve my wife with everything I have. I want to love my wife. I want to encourage her everyday, especially when life is rough. I want to give her shoulder, back, and foot rubs after long days, no matter how tired I am. I want to spend more time with her than I do thinking about myself. I want to wash the dishes so she can go to bed early. I want to take care of her when she's sick, tired, or sad. I want to tell her I love her deeply, not letting one minute go by without her knowing how much I care about her.

But I know I have a long way to go. I trust in Christ to bring me to that place, because I know that I love because He first loved me.

The Importance of Missions

I haven't posted anything on here in quite a while, mainly because classes have required so much of my time (and brain power). Recently, I had to write a short essay for one of my religion classes on the function of missions in a pluralistic world. I'll just copy and paste it here for the sake of keeping this blog active.

In a pluralistic world, are missions still a valid function of Christianity? Explain your answer.

Missions have been a part of the Church since the beginning of Christianity itself. After the resurrection, Jesus told his disciples to “make disciples of all nations” (Matt 28:19), and that they would be “witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8). An entire book of the Bible is devoted to the origins of the Church as the gospel was spread by the apostles. Though missions have evolved into different forms over time, the basic premise is the same: share the good news of Jesus Christ with those who have not heard. However, the postmodern development of society has caused a change in mindset towards religion. Pluralism, the idea that one religion is not the sole source of truth, has risen in popularity. It is no longer politically correct to claim that Christianity is the only way to get to heaven. Even some Christians believe either that Jesus is not the only way to achieve salvation or that eventually everyone will be saved whether in life or in death, a philosophy known as universalism. Despite the newfound prevalence of pluralism, missions are still a valid function of Christianity because of their necessity to the Church and because of their necessity to unbelievers.

Missions are not only a valid function of Christianity for the Church; they are absolutely necessary. Not only did Jesus command believers to make disciples of all nations, but he added that Christians should “[baptize] them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Missions should not be defined narrowly as trips to foreign countries with the main purpose of sharing the gospel. Sharing the gospel with those in a church’s own city is also important and perhaps the most practical and vital function to the life of the local church. Since not all churches, especially the smaller ones, can afford to send missionaries abroad, missionizing in the city becomes the first step for the church. Furthermore, James writes that “faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead” (James 2:17). Likewise, a church that does not embrace missions as a necessary part of church life is dead. It cannot grow and probably should not grow. As not every believer who has a passion for mission work can afford it on his or her own, churches become the financial supporters through the donations of its members. Any church that fails to carry out its purpose is failing to follow in the footsteps of the Jesus, which means it is not a church at all. A church simply cannot be the Church without this function.

It would be narrow-sighted to assume that missions are only for the sake of the Church, as first and foremost they are necessary to unbelievers. Indeed, without early missions by the apostles and those who came after them, the Church would not be as large as it is. However, Christians should not be lax in how they carry out missions today. It is easy to believe that now that Christianity is so prevalent, missions are not needed. JoshuaProject.net says that there are well over one and half billion unreached or little reached people around the world. These are people who either have never even heard the gospel or have heard very little, not enough to know Jesus. It is vital for Christians to remember again Matthew 28:19-20, that Jesus wanted to gospel preached to “all nations . . . teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” The Greek word used in this verse for nation is ethnos, which can literally be translated as people group. With over 1000 unreached people groups, there is much work to be done. Jesus said, “No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). Because of this, missions are essential to the salvation of unreached peoples.

Perspective is crucial with examining the importance of missions. Had it not been for missions, there would likely be no, or very few, Christians in the West. The fact that Christians in America know Christ at all should lead them to be grateful for missions. Still, Christianity cannot let a pluralistic world dictate whether missions should or should not be done. A Christian is loyal to God first and foremost, and should do everything in his or her power to obey Him, regardless of the state of society.

Obeying God When He is Silent

The other night I asked myself the question: “What am I supposed to do when I God isn't showing me the direction he wants me to take in life?” So, I did what any confused Christian does—I picked up my Bible and started reading. I flipped through the Old Testament and realized I wanted to see what Paul had to say, so I turned the pages to Ephesians and worked my way through all six chapters looking for answers. Fortunately, I found a few.

Sometimes I struggle with what I'm supposed to do at any given moment of my life. It seems that I always have a question for God like “what do I do next?” or “how should I handle this situation?” It reminds me of elementary school when I could shamelessly ask the teacher how to do a homework problem that she had already explained how to do. God is like that to us; He finds joy in guiding us, and we find joy (or at least we should) in following Him. It's a good thing to ask God for guidance. It shows that we are humbly submitting to God's will above our own. But what about those times when we really need answers, when life just seems to be going on the fritz, and God doesn't answer us? Are we not listening hard enough? Should we ask again? Does He even care?

He does care. And it's perhaps out of His affection for us that He remains quiet. Sometimes God wants us to handle things on our own. Now, before you disagree, let me explain. Don't assume that I mean we should take things into our own hands all the time. Certainly, there are occasions when we should be on our knees asking God for guidance. But this isn't the case for every action we take. Should we really ask God when we should take a shower, eat dinner, go exercise, run errands? It's not so much that these questions don't have good answers. Instead, it's often our responsibility to live a Godly life based on what God has already told us.

Realistically, if we always ask God what His will is for the most trivial of tasks, it only shows our own spiritual immaturity. Think about it: if God has a specific plan for how we should spend every minute of our day, it means failing to follow that plan to the T is disobeying God, and disobeying God is sinful. Are we sinning if we eat a sandwich instead of an apple without asking God if He wants us to eat the apple after all? I'm thinking no. Now, this doesn't mean we won't disobey God by doing what we want. If we aren't being good stewards with our time, money, etc. then surely we aren't doing what God probably wants us to do. So how do we go about obeying God when we approach the insignificant tasks of our day? And how do we follow God when we need His help, and yet He does not speak?

The answer is that God has given us a guide already. You may have heard of it. It's called The Bible. If we are diligent in reading The Bible, God will give us wisdom for the practical life as well as the spiritual life. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says “Every scripture is inspired by God and useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the person dedicated to God may be capable and equipped for every good work” (NET). So whenever we read The Bible, God has made us capable of making our own decisions based on the wisdom he has graciously given to us.

This is where Ephesians came in handy for me. Paul has laid out some very practical and very important steps for a maturing Christian to learn. Paul says that “we are no longer to be children . . . but practicing the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ” (4:14-15). The word I find very key here is “practicing.” We aren't supposed to merely think about what God wants us to do, nor are we to constantly ask for guidance in all things. We are supposed to put the things God has already taught us into practice. Thinking is good; doing is better. A child learns not to touch a stove when he gets burnt by it. We learn to live like Christ by seeing the disastrous consequences of our sin. As an example, Ephesians 4:31 says, “You must put away every kind of bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and evil, slanderous talk.” We find that when we obey these commands we are in a better position to make the right choices in our relationships. We need not ask God unless we are truly unsure about a decision because He has spoken to us already.

Paul leaves us with this reminder: “Therefore be very careful how you live – not as unwise but as wise, taking advantage of every opportunity, because the days are evil. For this reason do not be foolish, but be wise by understanding what the Lord's will is” (5:15-17). We understand God's will by obeying Him, using The Bible to learn His commands and to gain wisdom, and praying when we deal with issues that we don't yet know how to handle. If we ask God to direct every single action of ours then we are often wasting our time—time that should be spent learning what he has given us in His book. Through this and practicing what we have learned, we can become more like Christ to the point where we go about our day wisely, not because we ask for His guidance in everything but because we have put His commands in our heart and His wisdom in our mind.

So is God truly silent? No. He has already spoken to us, we just need to listen and learn. And during those times when He does speak to us directly, we should praise Him for His faithfulness and thank Him for His grace.

A Christian Ideal for Love

I've been dwelling on this for days, and I think the best way to understand what I believe is to write it down. So here we go.

Let me clarify: this post is about romantic love (between a man and woman), not the agape love God shows us. I could write for years about God's love and still not come close to describing its perfection. I'm just hoping to keep it to a few paragraphs here.

So I'm going to start with the main idea here: Jesus showed us how to love, so love cannot exist apart from Him. Now, I'm not saying nonbelievers can't love, as its obvious in many cases that they can. However, their love ultimately comes from God, even if they don't know it. Some Christians seem to miss this point a lot though. How else do you explain the divorce rate among them? I've heard all the arguments: “we didn't have any chemistry,” “she just wasn't the one,” “he doesn't understand me.” Bull crap. Maturity is the issue here. Everyone goes through rough spots in their relationships, but if you cut and run instead of working it out, you're the one responsible. The difference between a relationship that lasts and one that doesn't is maturity.

Now let me go deeper into this whole maturity thing. When I say maturity, I'm not talking about age, experience, or any other standard often used to determine maturity. What I mean by maturity is the quality in a person that reflects the character of God and runs to the area of conflict, not away. Jesus does mention in Matthew 5:32 that divorce is okay in cases of infidelity. I would even argue that holds for marriages which are continuously abusive. Any other reason is probably not going to cut it. God says in Malachi 2:16 that He hates divorce, and understandably so. God has suffered through the greatest divorce of all time: the divorce of His creation from Him. That is essentially what Genesis 3 is all about. Even so, God understands when unfaithfulness separates a couple, keeping them trusting each other again. But God pursued us despite our sin, despite our adultery against Him. He gave His life to be with us again. That's why the Church is called the “bride” of Christ. It's because of this reason that I have tremendous respect for couples who are willing to stick together even when adultery happens. I'm not condoning affairs (they're despicable), but if a relationship can weather that storm, it's practically invincible.

What about relationships before marriage? Perhaps there are fewer Biblical verses and other metaphors to apply here, but we can still learn a lot from Christ. The key difference between dating and marriage is the fact that it's okay to break up. There are no vows made before God to stay committed, so breaking up, though it may be painful, is not a sin. However, I still believe a lot of things hold true in a relationship. For one, it's vital to keep God in focus and at the center of the relationship. I imagine it, since I'm a visual person, as a triangle. The man and woman are the two corners at the bottom, and God is the point at the top. The man and woman each have their own personal relationship with God, one which nothing can take away. But they also have a relationship with one another. Without God, though, the relationship is one-dimensional and has nothing to hold it together during the hard times. This happens often with couples who don't have a solid relationship with God, to the point where they become each others' idols. With God though, there is a a constant; an unchanging, immovable constant. He is the foundation which holds the universe together. With faith from both sides, He can hold any relationship together.

That said, there are numerous reasons why breaking up is alright. While, ideally, every relationship could eventually turn into marriage, sometimes people just move in two different directions. In that case it could be that God is calling each person to a separate place, with a separate plan for each. Please, please though, carefully ask God if that is indeed his plan. Sometimes we hear Him wrong, and there's no reason to break up unless you are confident you heard Him right. And whatever you do, do not use that as an excuse to break up. That's just dumb. In the end, the goal of every relationship should be learning to love and serve one another.

So what is love? (Baby don't hurt me). I don't believe love is technically an emotion. We often pervert the true meaning of the word by using it as such. But let's be honest, we love our families and our friends, but do we really always like them? Who among all the people that you love has never gotten on your nerves at least once (and most likely many, many times)? Therefore, love is something else. I believe that something else is a commitment. Feelings come and go, but if there is a commitment behind the relationship, feelings don't matter as much. Jesus commands us to love our enemies even though we don't, and may never, like them. That is why Jesus is the key to understanding love. There are people who go in and out of relationships wondering why they always fail. The answer is all around them, and that answer loves them dearly. But even those who are happily married, I'm sure, learn something new about love everyday. That's just part of learning to live like Christ. You may not have ever experienced a relationship before, but as long as you love and pursue Jesus as He loves and pursues us, you can know what love is.

So what do you all think?

In the beginning...

So yes, this is my blog. Not that I'll write on here much. It's not that I don't enjoy writing. It's not that I don't enjoy putting my thoughts down either. It's just that I find it hard to actually do. And this happens to me a lot it seems. I want to finish my homework or study and get good grades. I want to spend more time reading my Bible. I want to get to know people better. But when I actually have down time, when there's literally nothing stopping me from doing these things, I just cannot move myself to do them. And honestly I have no idea why. Is it laziness? I don't enjoy being lazy. It sucks actually. Well, not all the time. There are days when I'm so exhausted and overwhelmed that I truly want to do nothing. Ironically, when I feel like this I'm just too busy, and when I'm not busy, I can't get myself to do the things I want to do. I feel like Paul in Romans 7.

Anyway, we'll see how this works out. Hopefully this blog will become my refuge. A place to lay down my burdens and make my thoughts concrete. I might even learn something about myself in the process. But let me be clear, while others may enjoy reading this blog, it's not for them. It's for me. The only reason why I'm putting this online is because I'm interested to hear other people's opinions on what I have to say. That way I can learn as much as possible. Learning is good.